Our loving Creator made us male and female and stated that this was good (Genesis 1:27-31). God immediately went on to show the wonderful potential of marriage by inspiring the words of their union in Genesis 2:21-25.

In His teaching in Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus Christ referred to the potential for happiness within marriage that God gave. There are eternal lessons to be learned in this holy union. Not only are humans happier when they work toward a family relationship that is godly, but also children (who take the better part of two decades to reach adulthood) need the stability of a home with mom and dad to have the best chance of becoming mature and responsible adults. The eternal lessons are derived from the parallels that marriage makes with the ultimate relationship of mankind and God (Ephesians 5:30-33).

There are eternal lessons to be learned in this holy union.

Now that we can see the importance of the marvelous institution that holy matrimony is intended to be, let us take a look at some of the realities of life. We all know that we humans are imperfect and usually come into marriage with many (or at least a few) mistakes, as well as gaps in our character. It seems to take a lifetime to “get it all together” and then when we finally seem to have made real progress, life is about to end. In fact, that is the essence of what life is all about, reaching that level of knowledge and building good character.

Marriage

God has made us all with hormones that kick in around the teenage years. He expects adults to teach the young self-control; and when maturity arrives, marriage is a natural step one takes to reach the highest level of human interaction that we can imagine. Mankind is good at ruining and destroying the beauty of God’s creation and it is no different in our personal lives and thus marriage. For this reason, God has stated some strong and clear guidelines for our lives.

God takes our marriage vows seriously because the results of a broken marriage are long-lasting and devastating.

Marriage is a holy union because it is an agreement a man and woman make with God to love, cherish, honor and be true to one another. In Mark 10:9 Jesus states this fact very strongly. “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” It is to our peril and great unhappiness that we all too often take these words too lightly. Though no one should have to live in an abusive situation, marriages are to be treasured and preserved through every effort we can exercise.

There are two of God’s Ten Commandments that clearly address this important phase in our lives. God says, “You shall not commit adultery” and “you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” He also states in no uncertain terms that those who practice adultery or fornication (sex prior to marriage) will not inherit the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). The commandments are written alongside “you shall not kill” and are just as serious. God takes our marriage vows seriously because the results of a broken marriage are long-lasting and devastating.

God wants us to be as happy as possible in this life, and therefore He tells us how to live. We have the right to choose which way we are going to go so we can be happy or miserable. We should note that at conversion, even a person who has come out of a miserable and sad state is able to start fresh, in the sense that they are made clean and pure by Jesus’ blood. Of course, once made pure by this precious blood, God expects us to remain pure (Romans 6:1-3).

Family strength

In Ecclesiastes 9:9, God tells us to live joyfully with the wife whom you love. This is a two-way street, and we can just as easily understand this to be to live joyfully with the husband whom you love. Marriage allows us to express the deepest kind of love to one another, a love based on trust. Without trust, a marriage cannot survive, at least not a marriage that is godly and happy.

Psalm 128 speaks of children like olive plants around the table of their parents. Parents having meals together and living like a family are vitally important role models for their children. That is what God wants for us, although we do not always reach that ideal. Both partners in a marriage have the responsibility of doing their part.

Marriage is based on trust. When two people fear God, they will try harder to live as He directs. God intends for a marriage to last a lifetime, therefore before marriage, people need to be sure they have many things in common. Religious beliefs rank very high on that list. In fact, spiritual compatibility is the one factor that God commands in the Bible. A believer (one who is “in the Lord”) must not choose to marry a nonbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:39). We need to give time to counseling and planning as we try to ensure that our marriages are as happy as possible.

God clearly expects men and women to keep themselves sexually pure before marriage. It is a strong beginning for a long and happy marriage when each partner comes to the other as a virgin and gives themselves only to one another. That is the foundation of trust.

God intends for a marriage to last a lifetime, therefore before marriage, people need to be sure they have many things in common.

The Proverbs 31 woman bears noble and highly-prized qualities. She is worth more than gold or diamonds and “the heart of her husband safely trusts her.” She will be discreet and will guard her honor and that of the family with great care. Needless to say, the husband must also exercise these qualities. This is God’s intention. But in real life, we know there are mistakes that happen. Accidents can happen and other factors can create problems for us. We live in a society that has lost its sense of correctness and chastity. The heartache, depression, loneliness and misery we see all about us are a result of choosing to disobey God somewhere along the line. Recovery is possible to some degree, but never completely.

A holy, loving marriage

Malachi 2:11-15 expresses God’s anger at men who “deal treacherously” with their wives, meaning men who do not remain faithful to the marriage vows. He also refers to marriage as a holy institution and a “covenant.” Husbands and wives should never let down in their efforts to build and maintain a lasting and loving marriage.

God’s people are different from the rest of the world in that they strive to obey God and to live according to His Word. We want to be like Him, and in marriage we are able to learn and to express many of His attributes. Love, sharing, giving, forgiving, wisdom, kindness, trustworthiness, patience, nobleness and goodness are a few that come to mind. The marriage will reflect the degree to which a husband and wife are succeeding in this. Our marriages reflect our godliness. None of us is perfect, and we are all walking this path together. Understanding our frailties and need for a close mate will go a long way towards making our lives as happy as they can be within the conditions we find ourselves.

Life does come to an end and all human marriages end with the death of either one of the partners. Often, it is at a sorrowful time such as this that a person fully realizes the blessing that a partner who is trustworthy, helpful and supportive has been. God created us to be social creatures. We need relationships and we need one another. He says it is not good for a man (or woman) to live alone (Genesis 2:18) and thus marriage provides us with companionship up into our old age.

We share each other’s accomplishments and adventures in life in such a close way that we come to grasp in time what Adam meant when he said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23). We are to be as one in marriage, reflecting the ultimate goal that Jesus Christ so carefully recorded in John 17. Verse 21 states: “That they also may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.”

Marriage is wonderful. God intended it for men and for women. This society has so twisted and distorted that godly intent and concept that we can find ourselves at war with the society we live in. God’s way is worth dying for and it is worth living for. Husbands and wives, and the young people who will one day be husbands and wives, have choices to make. We who have lived the biggest part of our lives hope and pray that the choices you make will allow God to bless you every day of your lives. Open your doors and let Him come in—then there will be peace and contentment, excitement and adventure that leave no regrets, no scars, no sorrows and no tears.

Marriage is from God and intended for all people. Use it wisely.